Each of us has our own innate desires, which are necessarily provided with talents and abilities, that is, properties for realization. The problem is that we are not aware of them. It turns out that I “want and can”, but I don’t know what exactly I want. What exactly can I do.
Do you want to know how to find yourself in life? How to realize yourself? The answer is simple: you need to get to know yourself. You don't know yourself at all!
Ask someone, the first person you meet, let him tell about himself. The maximum that you will hear is the facts from the biography.
And what can you tell about yourself? Who are you? How are you different from others? What do you want? What do you know about how to find your place in life?
We don't know anything about ourselves. Nothing! We live our lives by touch. Someone was lucky to find their way and take their place in the human hostel, working with pleasure, getting excellent results and recognition of society. And someone in 50 years continues to look for himself. True, the older you are, the sadder and more hopeless your search looks.
Luckily, scientific progress does not stand still. New discoveries in psychology eliminate the need to look for oneself by the method of scientific poke, to try oneself in different specialties, changing jobs one after another. After all, you can spend your whole life searching for yourself and your path!
You can find yourself in incredibly short lines, getting to know your real self, realizing what your unconscious is hiding. So, the path to self-realization - where to start?
In this article you will learn:
How to believe in yourself and your abilities.
How to find your calling, to clearly understand what it means to find yourself, your abilities and talents, the realization of which will bring real satisfaction.;
How to recognize false goals and abandon them.
How to determine your place in society.
Why exactly are you trying to find your place in life, while others are not. Why can't you live like everyone else and be content with little.
So, how to find yourself in this life?
The modern world is filled with opportunities, goals and desires ... of other people. We live in the midst of this abundance and draw our guidelines from there. Someone makes great films, someone creates beautiful clothes, someone develops programs, and someone plays the guitar beautifully. And you think: I would like that too! How to find yourself in all this?
Someone nearby wants something so badly that you start wanting it too, not realizing that this is not your desire. And even if you spend years of your life on this goal, you will inevitably be disappointed with the result. Because nature is perfect - with birth we receive all the necessary inclinations for what we need, everything for self-realization. Would like to know where to start!
Each of us has our own innate desires, which are necessarily provided with talents and abilities, that is, properties for implementation. The problem is that we are not aware of them. It turns out that I “want and can”, but I don’t know how to find what I want. What exactly can I do.
In the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan, these sets of desires and properties are called vectors. It is the set of vectors and their state that determines the prism through which a person sees and feels life, as well as his desires, opportunities and ways of realization.
Absolute understanding of the whole depth of one's mental nature, awareness of the causes of one's states, desires, needs - this is self-knowledge.
How to find yourself an emotional person?
For example, if a person has a special, sensitive vision that distinguishes a greater number of colors and shades, a good artistic taste, and his keyword"beautiful" means that he has a . His life is filled with emotions - he is sensual, funny, kind, shy, and his eyes are wet.
If you have a visual vector, you can find yourself in intellectual and creative professions. Culture and art, design, photography, fashion - the viewer will feel good where he can enjoy beauty, create it, expressing emotions, experiencing emotions, conveying emotions to others. Emotions for him - this is life.
All the kindest and most beautiful created by people, we get from the audience, who realize to the maximum what nature has given them.
Now imagine a spectator who works as an accountant, marketer or salesperson. How to realize yourself here? Where is the emotion? Where is the beauty? Unrealized emotions rush out in the form of hysterical breakdowns, from which loved ones suffer, or he constantly falls in love with someone.
What if nothing is interesting? How to find yourself in a profession?
There are eight vectors, and each modern man there are several of them. In different circumstances of life, we can apply our different abilities, properties and talents. , for example, endows a person with a rational mind and pragmatism, dexterity and an entrepreneurial streak. The anal vector allows you to become a professional in any industry, gaining experience and knowledge in your field.
But there is one vector that makes its owner not like everyone else.
It is this vector that makes you think more than others how to find yourself in life. It - . It is thanks to him that you think about things that mean nothing to others. For example, about the meaning of life, the cosmos, some energies, about the state of an altered consciousness, about self-knowledge.
If you have a sound vector - it is the most important in your mental. His desires are very voluminous, and if they are not realized, your condition becomes difficult. You become isolated in yourself, and the desires of other vectors are, as it were, blocked. Other people become uninteresting, stupid, annoying.
And then, whatever you do in life, you feel that it is not yours. Life turns into a search for yourself and your path. Everything is empty, uninteresting, painful, everything is not worth doing. Working as an executive assistant, for example, you hate your leather boss and secretly despise his commercial streak. Office life, with its hustle and bustle, seems unbearably disgusting.
How can you be so down to earth? Surely your dream job is a remote job. Close at home and be alone with yourself - your constant desire. But there is no realization in this, there is no filling of the innate desire for sound - knowledge of oneself.
How to find your calling if you are not like everyone else?
Realization in the life of a sound engineer is always associated with cognition. Inanimate nature: the laws of physics and mathematics, the development of which gave the world incredible IT technologies and the Internet. Plant and wildlife: scientists have developed food technologies unique in the history of mankind, and medicine has reached the highest level. Of human nature: it is sound people who strive for psychotherapy and psychiatry, trying to unravel the secrets of the human soul and protect themselves from their native fear - to go crazy.
How to find yourself in a profession? The range of professions in which a sound engineer can take place is quite wide: programming, exact sciences, foreign languages, writing, music, psychology, psychotherapy, there are others.
The names of realized sound engineers, whose lives are a vivid example of the great value they brought to society, are Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, Steve Jobs, Nikola Tesla and Albert Einstein.
But it is not at all necessary to be born a genius in order to succeed and be happy, because everyone is born with their own volume of desire, which must be realized. And this will be quite enough to feel for sure - life is a success.
Incredible changes occur when you fulfill the fundamental desires of sound to know yourself, humanity, the meaning of everything that exists, the cause-and-effect relationships of what is happening around you in particular and in the world as a whole. When you get to know not only yourself, but also learn to focus on people and understand each person as yourself. And the boss with a commercial streak, and superficial colleagues in the office, even the most notorious gossip lovers. Yes, as myself - completely without irritation and condemnation.
This is possible, and they tell about how to find their place in life in their results, who have been trained in Systemic Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan.
What happens after that?
All your desires are freed from the oppression of the sound vector, and your whole being literally explodes from interest in life and desires - the most unexpected and different. Suddenly, a new reality will arise in front of you - multifaceted and filled with meaning. And you will no longer wonder what it means to find yourself, because you will find both yourself and a new reality.
Well, after getting to know yourself and applying yourself will be very easy. See for yourself - do not miss the free online introductory lectures on Systemic Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register in form below.
The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»At first glance, the advice may seem very simple, even banal, but don't be fooled by it...
While reading, many of you realize that we were taught from childhood to be someone, but not ourselves: What do you want to be when you grow up? – we are involuntarily pushed to make a choice without a choice… we want to be doctors, astronauts, transformers, Cinderella, ninja turtles… then we have idols businessmen, singers and movie stars. And by the age of 20, you simply do not know who you are and what you are capable of. Awareness of this chapter and simple self-hypnosis into the wilds of the subconscious " Be yourself!" will take you out of the vicious circle and change your life forever!
"Be yourself. The other roles are already taken." Oscar Wilde
How to be yourself, intro:
This story took place about 700 years ago. The great teacher, wise with experience, enjoying honor and glory, lay on his deathbed. Disciples and faithful followers asked if he was afraid to die. “Yes,” answered the sage, “I am afraid of meeting the Creator.” "How so? they were surprised. You have lived such a worthy life. You brought us out of the darkness of ignorance, as Moses did his people. You have settled disputes between us with the wisdom of Solomon." Hearing these words, the teacher quietly replied: “When I stand before the Creator, he will ask me not about who I looked like, Moses or Solomon. He will ask: "Were you yourself?" As you can see, man has been trying to be himself since time immemorial. Why hasn't he succeeded yet? Because he strives to please everyone at once.
When we decide to live the way we see fit, dissatisfied and offended necessarily appear: boss, spouse, parents, children. At first, this decision brings only a feeling of loneliness and a feeling that everyone is against us. But we only answer to ourselves. The opinion or approval of others is irrelevant.
You are responsible for choosing to live your way. You are responsible for the results of your actions and for the circumstances of your life. The blame for your actions (or inaction) falls on your shoulders.. Often, other people's values and beliefs will diverge from yours. The inconsistency of your lifestyle with their ideas of what is right and what is wrong scares them, because their whole life was built on these ideas.
When opposing beliefs collide, an internal struggle begins. A person asks himself: “Maybe others are right? Does that mean I'm wrong?" But the one who has known his essence cannot be threatened by other people's beliefs. Only those who doubt themselves and do not know their true self can be afraid of people who directly or indirectly threaten their value system.
Robert Anthony
“Stop thinking! Act!”
FIND YOURSELF AND BE YOURSELF (Excerpt from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie)
Before starting the article, I would like to add some essay
FIND YOURSELF AND BE YOURSELF: REMEMBER THERE IS NO OTHER PERSON LIKE YOU ON EARTH
I received a letter from Mrs. Edith Allred. “When I was a child, I was very sensitive and shy,” she says in her letter. - I have always been overweight, and my cheeks were such that I seemed even fatter than I was. My mother was a woman of the old school and believed that clothes should not be beautiful. She thought it was all nonsense. She always said: "Wide clothes will wear well, but tight clothes will tear quickly." She dressed me according to this principle. I never went to visit, had no entertainment. When I went to school, I never participated in outdoor games or even played sports. I was painfully shy. I felt that I was different from others and considered myself completely unattractive.
As an adult, I married a man a few years older than me. But I haven't changed. My relatives on my husband's side were calm and self-confident people. They had all the qualities that I should have had. I tried my best to be like them, but nothing worked. All their attempts to make me more sociable led me to withdraw more and more into myself. I became nervous and irritable. I avoided all my friends. My condition worsened so much that I trembled with terror when the doorbell rang. I felt like a failure. I knew this and was afraid that my husband would notice it. Therefore, when we were in society, I tried to look cheerful and often overacted. After that, I felt miserable for several days. Finally, I became so depressed that it seemed pointless for me to continue living. I started thinking about suicide."
What changed the life of this unfortunate woman? One random note!
“A chance remark,” continued Mrs. Allred, “transformed my whole life. One day my mother-in-law began to talk about how she raised her children, and said: “No matter what happens, I always demanded to be themselves“… Be yourself?.. This remark made me rethink my life. Suddenly it dawned on me. I realized that all my sorrows were caused by the fact that I was trying to play a role that did not suit me at all.
I immediately changed my behavior. I started to be myself. I tried to explore my own personality. Tried to figure out who I am. I learned my strengths. I learned to choose colors and styles in clothes, began to dress to the person. Made new friends. entered into public organization, which at first was small - and I was numb with fear when I was assigned to make a report. But with each new performance, I became bolder and bolder. It took me a long time - but today I am happier than I ever imagined in my dreams. Raising my children, I always taught them what I learned the hard way: "!"
This problem of wanting to be yourself is “as old as the world,” says Dr. James Gordon Gilkey, “and as universal as human life.” The unwillingness to be oneself is the hidden cause of many neuroses, psychoses and complexes. Angelo Patri has written thirteen books and thousands of newspaper articles on parenting, and he says, "The most unhappy man is the one who longs to be someone or something other than the person he is physically and mentally."
This longing to be someone else is especially prevalent in Hollywood. Sam Wood, one of the most famous directors in Hollywood, said that the biggest difficulty he had with young aspiring actors was because of this problem: getting them to be themselves. They all wanted to be second-rate Lana Turner or third-rate Clark Gable. “The public is already familiar with their vibrant personality,” Sam Wood tirelessly repeats to them, “and now they want something else.”
Before directing films such as Goodbye Mr. Chips and For Whom the Bell Tolls, Sam Wood worked for many years in the retail industry. real estate, training sales agents. He states that the same principles apply to both the business world and the film world. “You won’t achieve anything if you keep monkeying around. You can't be a parrot. Experience has taught me,” says Sam Wood, “that the best thing to do is to get rid of people who pretend to be who they are not as quickly as possible.”
I recently asked Paul Boynton, head of human resources for a large oil company"Sokoni-Va kuum Oil", what is the biggest mistake of people who apply to him for a job. He should know: he's interviewed over 60,000 job seekers, and he's also written a book called 6 Ways to Get a Job. He replied: “The biggest mistake people make job seekers, is that they want to seem different from what they are. Instead of being casual and completely frank, they often try to give the answers they think you want to hear. But it doesn't work, because no one needs cheaters. As well as counterfeit coins.
Here is the story of one woman who learned this the hard way. She was the daughter of a tram conductor. This girl aspired to be a singer. But her face gave her a lot of trouble. She had a large mouth and protruding teeth. When she first performed in front of an audience at a New Jersey nightclub, she tried to pull her upper lip down to hide her teeth. She tried to be "charming", but what came of it? She looked funny. Her career could have ended in failure.
However, among the visitors of the nightclub there was a man who, upon hearing her singing, thought that she had talent. “Listen,” he said bluntly, “I watched your performance and I know what you are trying to hide. You are ashamed of your teeth." The girl was embarrassed, but the man continued to say: “So what of it? Is it a crime to have ugly teeth? Don't try to hide them! Open your mouth and the public will love you when they see that you are not ashamed. Besides,” he remarked shrewdly, “the very teeth you are trying to hide may bring you success and wealth!”
Cass Daly followed his advice and forgot about her teeth. From that time on, she thought only of the public that listened to her. She opened her mouth wide and sang with such feeling and temperament that she became one of the brightest stars in film and radio. Other comedians are trying to imitate her now!
The famous William James was referring to people who never found themselves when he declared that average person develops only ten percent of the intellectual abilities inherent in it. “Compared to what we should be,” he wrote, “we are only half awake. We use only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Generally speaking, a person thus does not use his abilities far. He has powers of various kinds, which usually go to waste."
You and I have these abilities, so let's not waste a moment worrying about how different we are from other people. You are something new in this world. Never, since the beginning of time, has there been another person exactly like you; and throughout all future ages there will never again be your full likeness. According to genetics, we become exactly the way we are, mainly as a result of the interaction of 24 paternal and 24 maternal chromosomes. These 48 chromosomes contain everything that determines our heredity. “In each chromosome, there can be from twenty to hundreds of genes,” writes Amran Sheinfeld, “and in some cases, only one gene can change a person’s entire life.” Indeed, we are created "in a terrible and wonderful way."
Even after your father and mother met and got married, there was only one chance in 300,000 billion that a person like you would be born! In other words, if you had 300,000 billion brothers and sisters, they might all be different from you. Do you think this is all speculation? Nothing like this. This is a scientific fact. If you would like more information on this subject, go to your public library and borrow a book entitled You and Heredity. The author is Amran Sheinfeld.
I have reason to talk about the need to "find yourself" because it deeply affects me. I know what I'm talking about. My sad experience cost me too much. Here's an illustration: When I first came to New York from the cornfields of Missouri, I entered the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. I aspired to be an actor. I came up with what I thought was a brilliant idea, so simple, so sure, that I couldn't understand why thousands of ambitious people hadn't stumbled upon it yet. The idea was this: I would study how the famous actors of the time - John Drew, Walter Hampden and Otis Skinner - achieved success. Then I was going to borrow best qualities each of them and combine them into oneself. I thought that this would help me become the most brilliant and unsurpassed actor. So silly! How ridiculous! I had to waste years of my life imitating other people until it dawned on my stupid Missouri head that I should To be youreself and that perhaps I could not have become anyone else.
This sad experience was to serve as a lesson to me for many years to come. But this did not happen. Where should I go, I was too dumb. I had to go through it all again. A few years later, I began to write a book that I hoped would be the most best book on oratory for business people that has ever been written. However, in the work on the book, I was guided by the same stupid idea that I applied when preparing to become an actor. I was going to take the thoughts of many other writers and combine them into one book, a book that would contain everything. So, I got hold of dozens of books on public speaking and spent a whole year incorporating their thoughts into my manuscript. But in the end it dawned on me that I was being stupid again. This hodgepodge of other people's thoughts that I wrote was so cumulative, so boring, that no business person would bother with it. Then I threw this fruit of my year's labor into the wastebasket and started all over again. This time I said to myself: “You must remain Dale Carnegie, with all his flaws and weaknesses. In all likelihood, we can be nobody else." I abandoned the idea of combining the virtues of other people, rolled up my sleeves and did what I should have done from the very beginning: I wrote a textbook on public speaking, which reflected my own experience, observations and thoughts that I have accumulated as a speaker and teacher of public speaking. I have learned—I hope forever—the lesson that Sir Walter Rayleigh learned. (I'm not talking about Sir Walter, who threw his cloak on the dirty pavement for the Queen to step on. It's about about Sir Rayleigh, who was a professor English Literature at Oxford in 1904.) "I can't write a book on the level of Shakespeare," he said, "but I can write my own book."
Be yourself. Follow the sage advice that Irving Berlin gave to the late George Gershwin. When Berlin and Gershwin first met, Berlin was famous and Gershwin was a young composer making his way through life. He only made thirty-five dollars a week writing light music. Berlin was deeply impressed by Gershwin's abilities and offered him a job as his musical secretary, with his salary to be tripled. “But don’t take this job,” Berlin advised. “If you take it on, you might be a second-rate Berlin. But if you persist in being yourself, the day will come when you will be a first-rate Gershwin.”
Gershwin heeded this warning and gradually became one of the most famous American composers of his generation.
Charlie Chaplin, Will Rogers, Mary Margaret McBride, Jean Autry, and millions of others have been forced to learn the lesson that I am trying to bring to your mind in this chapter. It cost them dearly, and so did I.
When Charlie Chaplin started acting in films, the director of the films insisted that he imitate the popular German comedian of the time. Charlie Chaplin could not achieve anything until he showed his individuality. Bob Hope went through the same thing: for many years he was a dance-and-sing performer - and he never managed to succeed. He became famous when he chose his own genre - art humorous story. Rogers performed as an extra in vaudeville for many years without speaking. He would never have succeeded if he had not discovered his gift for telling humorous stories.
When Mary Margaret McBride first began performing on radio, she chose the role of an Irish comic actress and failed. When she began playing herself - a simple country girl from Missouri - she became one of the most popular stars of New York radio.
When Gene Autry tried to get rid of his Texan accent and claimed he was from New York people just laughed behind his back. But when he began to play his banjo and sing cowboy ballads, his career was launched. Gene Autry became the most popular cowboy in the world, both in movies and on radio. (approx. reminds the story of the well-known Oprah Winfrey)
You are something completely new in this world. Rejoice in this. Make the best of what nature has given you. Ultimately, all art is autobiographical. You can only sing with your own voice. You can only draw with your hand. You must be what your experience, your environment and your heredity have made you. Whatever happens, you must cultivate your little garden. Whatever happens, you must play your little instrument in the orchestra of life.
Emerson, in his essay "Self-Confidence," wrote: "There comes a point in every man's spiritual life when he comes to believe that envy is born of ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that a person, whether he wants it or not, must come to terms with himself, as well as with the destiny assigned to him; that no matter how many blessings the universe abounds, he will not find his daily bread, as long as he does not diligently cultivate the piece of land allotted to him. The forces inherent in him have no analogues in nature, and only he himself can find out what he is capable of, and this will not become clear until he tests himself.
To develop an attitude towards life that will bring you peace and free you from anxiety, follow the fifth rule:
Don't imitate others. Find yourself and be yourself.
Movies are one of my most inspiring sources. In difficult moments, motivational films remind me to be stronger.
In this article, I have compiled 25 inspirational movie quotes that will give you the most valuable life lessons.
1. Be determined. Instead of intending to try something, just do it.
Do something, or don't do it at all. There is no room for trying here. - Master Yoda, Star Wars.
2. Learn to let go and see clearly where you want to go next.
Love cannot be found where it does not exist, and it cannot be hidden where it exists. — David Schwimmer, Make-Kiss.
3. Past experience is a valuable lesson, learn from it.
Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can both escape from it and learn from it. - Rafiki, The Lion King.
4. Just be yourself, because you are unique, and you will see - you will shine.
Why do you try so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? - What does a girl want?
5. Life is too short to miss anything, try to live slower.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once, you'll miss her. — Ferris, Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
6. You must love yourself and take care of yourself, because, first of all, this is your life.
You cannot live your life for others. You must do what is right for you, even if it hurts those you love. - "The Notebook".
7. Everyone has a choice. You can choose your own path in life.
We are who we choose to be. - Green Goblin, Spiderman.
8. You deserve what you want when you give it your all. Nobody has the right to take it from you.
Don't let anyone even make you feel unworthy of what you want. – Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You.
9. There is no perfect time for anything, do it now or you will regret it later.
I don't regret what I did, I regret what I didn't do. - Empire Store.
10. You don't have to hide just because you're afraid of what others will think of you. You have a choice to live your life.
To show ourselves as we really are is not an ability...it is our choice. - Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
11. Just keep moving, you can do it one day.
Run Forest run! - "Forrest Gump".
12. The least expected things happen at the most inopportune times in life.
My mom always said, "Life is like a box chocolates you never know which one you'll get." - "Forrest Gump".
13. Never give up chasing your dream, fight for it as hard as you can.
Never let anyone tell you that you are incapable of anything, not even me. Okay? This is your dream, you must protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they want to tell you that you can't do it either. If you want something, go and get it. – Chris Gardner, The Pursuit of Happyness.
14. Don't get stuck in your own little world, because the offer of life is to learn and gain experience.
See the world, come to dangerous things, see what's behind the walls, get close, find each other and feel. This is what life offers. - The Incredible Life of Walter Mitty.
15. Stop trying to please everyone because it's impossible. Do what you feel comfortable doing.
You can't live your life pleasing others. The choice should be yours. – The White Queen, Alice in Wonderland.
16. Believe in yourself. Your confidence will open the way for you to happiness and success.
After a while, you will learn to ignore the way people call you names and just believe in who you are. - Shrek.
17. On the way to your goals and dreams, you will definitely meet many difficulties, just hold on!
If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This may mean that you will lose your girlfriend, wife, relatives, job. And perhaps your mind. You may have to fast for three or four days. Perhaps you will freeze on a bench in the park. You might end up in jail. Perhaps you will be ridiculed. Perhaps you will be mocked and ignored. Ignoring is a gift. Everything else is a test of your endurance. How badly you want to get it. And you will do it despite the lowest chances for yourself. And it will be better than anything you can imagine. — Henry Chinaski, Factotum.
18. Count every moment, enjoy your life and don't waste it.
We all have to decide what to do with the time given to us. - "Lord of the rings, Brotherhood of the ring"
19. The small things you do today can bring great results in the future.
What matters is what you are doing right now. - Black Hawk Down.
20. Don't take missed opportunities as something bad, you never know what life is trying to teach you.
Our lives are defined by opportunities, even those we miss. - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
21. Achieving greatness is how much effort you put in all the time.
Great men were not born that way, they became great. - Mario Puzo, The Godfather.
22. Instead of looking for happiness, live in the moment and this is where happiness exists.
I still believe in heaven. But at least I now know that this is not a place you can find, because it is not where you are going. It's how you feel when you're part of something, and if you find that moment, it lasts forever. - "Beach".
23. If you are looking for someone who completes you, then you will never have harmony inside you when you are alone.
Only when you achieve harmony within yourself will you find true connection with others. - "Before dawn".
24. Always keep hope. Be optimistic.
I know what I have to do now, I have to keep breathing because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the wave can bring? - "Outcast."
25. Before you do anything, find out for yourself why you need it. Purpose is an important reason to support what you will be doing.
In order to find something, anything, the great truth about lost points, you must first believe that you will have some advantage in this. "All the king's men."
Do you have movie quotes that really inspired you? Share them!
We continue the topic of finding your calling (). If you are still looking for yourself and do not know what to do in life, then this article is for you. Let's see what could be the reasons for this situation and how to change it.
Let's start with the fact that people cannot find themselves for two main reasons. Either you are a very versatile person and do not know what to choose, or you think that you are not attracted to anything at all. Let's consider the first situation. People who have a lot of interests, favorite things, hobbies cannot find themselves precisely because of the difficulty of choosing - they are torn between several directions in life. If you are just such a person, then you can only be congratulated - you are never bored of life and people are always interested in you. Your hobbies are the voices of your abilities. You can develop yourself in many areas and this is your advantage. The difficulty lies in the fact that a large number of interests creates a situation of "swan, cancer and pike", when you spray your energy at the same time on many things that are in no way connected with each other. As a result, you won't get anywhere. good results, scattering their forces first on one, then on another, then on a third. Mastery can only be achieved in the business to which you devote the maximum of your time. , attention and hard work. Therefore, make your choice as soon as possible, otherwise you will stand still.
Analyze what exactly of your favorite activities could become your profession, your main activity. Look in every direction you like. At the same time, in each case, imagine that this is your job, and keep track of your feelings - could you do this all day five days a week, could you take money for it. Whatever suits you best as a permanent job option, then choose. Leave the rest of your favorite activities as a hobby. Do these simple reflections, and everything will become clear to you at once.
Then start acting in the direction that you have chosen to finally make sure that your decision is correct. It is in the process of activity that you will finally understand whether this is your business or not.
If necessary, get additional education. If you need new knowledge, go, for example, to courses or engage in self-education. 
The main thing is to start developing in what you have chosen, take small practical steps every day. Just say to yourself, “This is what I do in my life. Now". Nobody says that you can't change your mind later. It can always be changed. You just need to start moving towards something, choose one thing from this large number of your favorite activities and start devoting maximum of your time to it.
Now let's talk about the second group of people. About those who generally vaguely imagine what they want. As a rule, they quickly lose interest in everything, live as if by inertia, and have already ceased to believe that they have their calling, or never believed in it. I declare with all responsibility - it cannot be that a person does not have a vocation. Each person has his own calling. Understand that you are unique, there is no other like you! In nature, there are no two identical snowflakes, just like there are no two identical people. Even the twins - although outwardly similar, but inside - completely different unique personalities. And in each person there is some kind of unique hidden talent, often not even one. Your task is to find talents in yourself, to understand what your main feature. After all a person is happy when he is not just a faceless cog in the system, but when he can give his uniqueness to the world.
How to discover them? Agree, always, every person has such activities that bring joy, that cause pleasant excitement, inspiration, enthusiasm. It just happens that the limiting social attitudes acquired in the family, in your circle of friends, have become so entrenched in your consciousness that for you these activities seem to be something frivolous or impossible, and you do not perceive them as a possible option for your activity.
Think about what inspires you? What activity brings you moral satisfaction? What are you unconsciously drawn to? - You collect information about it, but you keep putting it off for later. When you experience a feeling of pleasant excitement (and not a feeling of boredom), when thoughts begin to unwind in this direction. Inspiration is the sister of vocation.
Now we are not considering a situation where a person does not want anything at all, when he has depression or apathy. It is clear that in such periods there is no time for searching for a destination. Here you just need to restore vitality, return the desire to live.
We take the case when a person is mentally healthy, just has not yet found his path and thinks that he is not drawn to anything. In fact, this is an illusion, the inertia of the mind, the conviction with which a person has become accustomed and considers it a part of his personality, he perceives as his reality. Start thinking differently. Create a new image of yourself - one who knows what his purpose is. Stop freaking out and getting upset. Your image should always go ahead of reality. Think outside the box - don't be afraid of bold ideas. Repeat as often as possible: “I know what my purpose is. I know what I want to do in life. Life shows me my way, sends signs, directs and leads me to my goal. Or ask yourself a question, ask directly: “What is my calling? What is my main goal? Go to sleep and wake up with this question, and your subconscious mind will find a way to tell you the answer. In fact, all the answers are already within you. Stop looking around and look inside yourself.
Anna HandelI was one of those who are looking for themselves.
My brain was corroded by questions - who am I, what am I, why am I? what is the sense of life? what is my purpose? what should I do in life? what is my mission? What if I'm not going my own way and I'm not living my life?
In search of my calling, I had high hopes for LSD, went to "seers" and healers, took tests, tried myself in business ...
All unsuccessful.
Groundhog Day has been going on for several years now. Day after day I did the same routine - mechanically, without being present, with dull eyes, as if buried alive.
I lived in the expectation that a miracle would happen soon and everything would change.
Everything will be different, you just have to find yourself, determine your calling.
But time passed, and the miracle did not happen.
Survive until the evening. Wait until the weekend. Hold on to vacation.
Monday again...
Is this how my life will go?
Out of desperation, I decided to go to Vipassana.
I've heard over and over again that this is the right way to find yourself. However, they said the same thing about LSD ...
It was four years ago.
I did not find myself on Vipassana. As before, I had no idea what to do in life.
However, the experience of the meditation retreat turned out to be very valuable for me - for the first time I experienced a deep feeling of happiness and peace that comes from within and does not depend on the outside.
It turned out that you can be happy and joyful, even if you have not found yourself yet!
After vipassana, I returned to my office routine and fell into an even deeper depression than I had before the retreat.
If BEFORE I still managed to somehow embellish reality and convince myself that everything was not so bad, then after I saw my life so soberly and clearly that I realized that I couldn’t do it anymore. I felt that soon everything would change.
In order to somehow keep myself afloat, I decided to continue to practice meditation - for an hour every morning.
Just at this difficult time for me, I came across a book that (as I now understand) changed my life.
Book
It was Paramahansa Yogananda's book How to Achieve Success.
Yogananda attached great importance to the development of a calm receptive consciousness through meditation, which was very consonant with me.
However, this is not what hooked me in the book.
One of the chapters was devoted to just a painful question for me - how to find your calling.
And what Yogananda offered in the book resonated with me inside.
I must say right away that the method offered by Yogananda will scare many away. It would have caused only a skeptical smile in me too, if this book had fallen into my hands a year or two before that.
But I was lucky - this book came to me at the right time.
I notice that new knowledge comes to us when we are already “ripe” to receive and assimilate it.
It seems that vipassana and regular morning practice cleared my mind enough and I was open to new information.
Besides, at the time I was in complete despair. I've already tried everything I could, but nothing has worked.
So what do I lose if I try?
Way to find your calling from Yogananda
In my opinion, Yogananda is one of the greatest Teachers of our time.
He became world famous thanks to his best-selling book Autobiography of a Yogi.
They say it was Steve Jobs' favorite book - every year he took the time to re-read it.
I myself have read the Autobiography twice already and will read more with pleasure.
In that chapter about finding one's calling, Yogananda invites all seekers to turn to God in sincere prayer for help and guidance.
And so I began to pray every morning. Prayer was the end of my morning practice. After an hour of meditation, keeping my eyes closed, I turned to God as suggested by Yogananda.
I prayed like this:
“Lord, tell me, how can I serve you?
Where, in what business will the talents and abilities with which You have bestowed upon me be most pleasing to you?
Please give me a sign.
Please direct me to work that pleases you.
Lead my life. Be with me.
Lord, I rely on you for everything."
Signs
In the very first prayer, I experienced very unusual experiences - goosebumps went all over my body, tears flowed, I felt joy, unity with the whole world, delight and at the same time peace.
Later I realized that such an ecstatic state arises only in sincere prayer. When the prayer comes "from the mind" and not from the heart, nothing like this happens. This state of spiritual uplift became for me the criterion of the sincerity of prayer.
I continued to pray in this way and a few weeks later, in one of my meditations, a vision came to me. It was fleeting, but so vivid that I still remember it well.
I saw myself surrounded by a group of people, we were in some bright room, sitting on the floor - I told them something. I realized that I was teaching these people meditation. The vision immediately disappeared, but left behind a very pleasant aftertaste.
I realized then that it was a sign. The very sign that I so sincerely asked for every morning for two months now.
But I didn't know what to do with this sign.
Do meditation?
To whom? How? Who am I to teach meditation anyway? And where will the money come from? What will my colleagues think? What will the parents say?
There are so many questions in my head and not a single answer.
But inside at the same time I rejoiced - God hears me and he answers me!
Why do they "make" a prayer?
Of course, this was not the first time I had prayed in my life. I remember as a child, inspired by the Bible for children, I repeated the Lord's Prayer before going to bed. This went on for several years.
However, when I grew up, I stopped praying. It seemed to me some kind of childish stupidity and superstition.
I believed then that I could achieve whatever I wanted. This is my life and it is in my hands. Why should I rely on any God? I can do everything myself.
I have lived with this attitude. And indeed, he achieved everything he wanted.
enrolled in one of best universities country, graduated with honors, got a job in one of the best law firms… Pride and vanity went wild.
Like everyone else, from time to time there were crisis situations and then I again remembered God and prayer, but as soon as life got better, I quickly forgot about it.
I have never understood why prayer is "made". What is this strange expression "to make a prayer"?
You just repeat the prayer memorized - "Our Father" or some other. What is creativity here?
Yogananda opened up a completely different understanding of prayer for me.
Prayer is a sincere conversation with God.
It turns out that you can talk to God and this does not require any rituals and intermediaries.
All that is needed is sincerity and love in the heart.
It turns out that prayer can be different. It is not necessary to repeat some memorized prayers, you can create - create - your own!
So every day the prayer turns out to be new - the words come by themselves and the prayer is born spontaneously out of love and gratitude.
Yogananda taught me that prayer can be a confession, repentance, confession, gratitude, an expression of love, a request and even a reproach!
Every morning I continued to meditate and pray.
And I began to notice that life is full of signs. It is worth asking sincerely, as you immediately receive an answer - it can come from anywhere. The main thing is to trust, to be open, calm, receptive.
The right information comes when you are open and ready to receive it.
So it was no coincidence that I got a session with a regressologist, who greatly expanded my idea of what I can do in life. I wrote about it
Dismissal
A few months later, I quit.
Fortunately, I still have some savings from the office service, for which I decided to give myself a gift - send myself on a sabbatical for a year.
But I knew exactly what I would not do anymore.
Recruiters called me, offered a job - I had to do the same thing, for the same money, but in a different place. Or even more money.
I understood that after a year of “search for myself”, it would be impossible to return to the profession at the same level.
Fortunately, I had the wisdom and courage to resist then. It's time to make a point.
I decided that I would no longer do what I did not believe in. I won't betray myself anymore.
Second birth
After quitting, I decided to travel the world - a dream that I put off for many years of office work.
First, we traveled with Natasha with tents in Karelia.
And then I continued the journey alone - I went to the Kenozero Reserve in the Arkhangelsk region. I signed up as a volunteer there - another old dream of mine.
For two weeks, the guys and I improved the forest paths, swam in the lake, picked blueberries and cloudberries, and took a steam bath in the black. Unforgettable days!
After the end of volunteering, I planned to return back to Moscow, where Natasha was waiting for me.
I left early in the morning in my expensive new car, 1000 km ahead.
I really wanted to be in time for a cool party that was planned that night in Moscow, so I was in a hurry and drove fast.
The short road that the navigator suggested to me was perfect gravel and not a single car. Only later did I find out that this road was closed for repairs.
The road was so monotonous and smooth, and the car went so smoothly that I did not notice how I lost my vigilance and my speed gradually increased from a careful 80 km / h to 100, 110, 120 ...
When this happened, I was driving at a speed of 160 km/h.
The car "led" on a gravel road and at such a breakneck speed began to throw from side to side.
I lost control and realized that any intervention by me would lead to disaster.
At that moment, I began to pray. It happened intuitively, by itself.
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Thy name..."
The car was thrown off the road onto the side of the road. Straight ahead - the forest. It flashed through my head - "well, that's all, this is the end."
"Thy kingdom come..."
Then I remember, the car was torn off the ground, the flight, the blow, it was carrying somewhere, the car turned over on its side.
"Thy will be done..."
I'm alive! Not a single scratch!
When the shock passed, I studied the trajectory of the car and discovered with horror that on our way we missed several large trees literally in centimeters - crashing into at least one of them meant death.
As if someone with his caring hand saved from inevitable death.
I then very clearly realized that prayer had saved me. In that accident, I had no chance of surviving without her.
As never before, I then felt the Divine presence. He was here, next to me, I felt it with every cell.
There was no fear, no sadness, no doubt.
I cried with joy, love and gratitude overflowed my heart.
I didn't care about a broken car. Ridiculous and ashamed of their ridiculous plans and desires.
He wants me to live. He loves me. He takes care of me.
God saved my life. What can I offer him in return?
I realized then that God is above everything.
And to serve him is the meaning of my life.
Ever since then, I've tried not to forget it.
Why am I no longer looking for myself?
God loves each of us.
He loves so strongly and unconditionally that he gives us complete freedom - freedom of choice.
If there were no freedom of choice, then there would be no law of karma.
After all, how can there be responsibility without freedom, and freedom without responsibility?
Most of us choose to live in a world where there is no God.
And respecting our choice, from his boundless love, he becomes invisible to us.
When we play hide and seek with God, he plays hide and seek with us.
All my life I thought I knew better. I'll take care of everything myself. I will achieve everything myself.
So what did I end up with? Honorary title "the most miserable lawyer on Earth"?
I've already played. I give up.
I don't want myself anymore. I want to be with you.
While I searched in vain for all these years, God always had a better plan for me.
But he didn't interfere, because I didn't ask. He let me drink this cup of suffering to the full, respecting my freedom.
“He really exists, and He can be found ... Calmly and confidently going through life, you will certainly realize that God is the only reality, the only goal that meets your aspirations, for the answer to all the aspirations of your heart is in Himself.” Yogananda.
But as soon as I sincerely turned to him, he answered. Since then, I began to feel the presence of God in my life. Now I see that He is everywhere I look. Behind all forms is his Divine smile.
"I Can't Take My Eyes Off You" - Grebenshchikov sings just about this.
For so many years I have been waiting for a miracle. It turned out that the source of all miracles was always there and waiting for me to turn to Him.
I am no longer looking for myself and my calling.
I realized that I need to seek God, strive to develop and strengthen the connection with him, purifying my heart and mind for greater sincerity and purity.
Everything else will come.
If God comes first, you are completely safe.
The Lord knows all your needs, he will take care of all your needs. For several years I have not yet had a single reason to doubt this.
For four years now I have been turning to God in prayer. I ask him for support, I ask him to instruct me, I ask him to guide me through life.
I suggest he use my vital energy, creative power, all my skills, abilities and talents in those matters that are pleasing to him.
And he answers me - through signs, inspiration and intuition.
Inspiration is the voice of God in the human heart.
When you sincerely pray and inspiration comes to you to do something, know that it is God who answered you.
He chose you to carry out his plan.
Now you need to justify the hopes placed on you. Because this is no longer your own business - you do it together!
This does not mean that God will do everything for you. Not! Why else would he need you?
Surrendering to God does not mean being weak and passive.
On the contrary, it means giving all your strength and energy, your best qualities, to the service of God.
It is important to become a warrior in life - courageous, decisive, strong-willed. But more importantly, do right choice which army to serve.
Do your best and leave the rest to him.
If you need help, he will help and support in everything.
Over the years there have been countless cases (sometimes incredible!) when I felt his support.
cleansing
God is the source of all knowledge, light, beauty and wisdom, and we are only guides.
The main thing on this path is purification.
The purer the guide, the more responsible things the Lord is ready to entrust us with.
You need to cleanse your heart and mind from such defilements as pride, envy, greed, lust, selfishness, vanity, fear.
It is precisely these defilements that hinder sincere communion with God.
I notice that those cases where I manage to get clean enough so as not to “fond” are charged with some kind of special power and the results exceed all expectations, and I get deep satisfaction and happiness from the opportunity to be useful.
Conversely, those cases where a lot of me is “mixed in” give very mediocre results and do not bring satisfaction.
Cleansing is a big topic that deserves a separate post.
So far, so close
If you are already desperate to find yourself and your place in life, let my story inspire you.
It is not necessary to go through life alone and blindly.
You may have tried a lot of things already, but nothing has worked. Well, that's also part of the journey. Disappointment leads to wisdom.
Maybe all this was needed just for this - to stop playing hide and seek.
Invite God into your life, let him lead you by the hand.
In parting, I decided to make you a few gifts:
To get all this, sign up in the form below - you will immediately receive a letter in the mail with both meditation and books.
When I read that book by Yogananda four years ago, I intuitively felt that it was true. I had a strange feeling - as if I already knew it somewhere deep inside, and he helped me remember the forgotten.
I would be glad if you share your experience of "search" in the comments to this post. What were you looking for and what did you end up finding?
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